Decreased by Him

Hello from Jinji South Korea!!

2010-09-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends and Family!

So this is the best way for me to keep up with everyone! I found out that my notes that I have posted on facebook just suddenly disappeared so I don't trust facebook anymore! I have had this blog for many years and there are many stories here. A lot of it is personal, but I don't mind anyone reading it. It tells my story and I'm not ashamed to share it. My last post from here was in 2008, so quite a long time. I will try to post on facebook sometimes, but if you want the day to day stuff here is where you go!

2008-12-13T11:20:00.001-08:00

So right now I feel hurt again, its funny how each time my heart breaks substantionally I run to this blog. I don't have my journal with me so I'm writing on here. I'm so mad at him, he is so lazy, refusing with everything hes got to not have his devotions, such a child. I took the remote and turned the tv off and closed the door. But he still lays there doing nothing, absolutly nothing. Just staring off in space as I write this. Refusing to talk. I wrote in that marriage book what happened last night. And I talked to him about it last night, and all he did was turn over and start sleeping. He apologized this morning and asked if I forgave him, and then continued on acting like a jerk towards to me. Now he is just staring off into space, refusing to talk to me. I talked to God for two hours yesterday while he watched tv with his family. He is killing me and I can't take it anymore. I threw the ring at him, I hate him right now, he has hurt me so much... I know God told me that my yes needs to be yes but its so hard because he doesn't care.....I can't take it anymore... Its easier to be just me and God, much less painful...

Running, Far, Far, Away

2006-12-30T17:24:00.000-08:00

Why am I still so angry?
Why am I still so bitter?
Why am I still so hurt?

I'm running away
Far, far away
I'm running away
Far, far away
Why am I so afraid?
Why am I still so ashamed?
Why do I still cry tears of pain?
I'm running away
Far, far away

To the deepest oceans where my tears blend into the waves
To the darkest jungles where my cries are muffled by the trees
To the hottest desserts where my pain will one day melt from my soul

I'm running away
Far, far away
I'm running away
Far, far away

Why am I fearful of what the Lord has to say?
Will what He answers hurt me more?
Why do I wish failure for another person rather than victory?
Will I feel unworthy if he finely becomes what I so desired?

I'm running away
Far, far away
But Jesus runs after me
No matter how far away I run

He runs after me
Before me
Ahead of me
He climbs the mountains with me
He swims the turbulent waters with me
He runs through the valleys along my side
When I run, He runs
When I sink, He lifts me up
When I fall, He raises me
When I cry, He holds me
When I scream, He understands
When I hurt, He comforts
He is there
He is there

He longs for me, when others have left me
He is strong for me, when others were weak
He pursues me, when no one else is pursuing
He holds me, when I am alone
He draws to my side, even though I have pushed Him away
He is there
He is here

I love the way He loves me
I love how He chases after me
I love the peace that He gives
The joy that He places in my heart
I love the grace He has given me
And the mercy He shows

So why do I still run away?
Why do I neglect Him so much?

I'm running away
Far, far away
I'm running away
Far, far away

I shouldn't be running
Instead, I must seek Him
My footsteps stop hurrying
There is no place to go
That will take me away from this pain
I must face it, I must stop running

My footsteps slow down
My heartbeat settles
I stop where I am

No amount of writing I do
Singing of songs
Playing of guitar
Traveling around the world
Will ever keep me from the pain I feel in my heart
But now I can face the pain inflictor
And my God will comfort my hurting soul

I look into the distance
Taking in the vast opportunity that is before me
I now look behind me
And Smile
I look ahead of me
And Smile
My foot steps out
And my pace for the future is steady and calm, and confident

I will dance
I will sing
I will play
I will write
I will travel
I will speak
All for the Lord
And not for the pain
All for my Jesus
And not for the pain inflictor
All for my God
And not for a selfish man

Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
I am free!
I am free!
The chains have left me!
The burden released from me!!

- Written 9-25-06, a huge turning point in my life

Unsure...

2006-11-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel so unsure....

About the people around me...
About my future...
Sometimes I feel lonely
Though I'm around people all the time
I feel as if something is missing
But its hard to explain...

I feel unsure
I feel uncomfortable
I tend to worry...

But I know that the Lord says
"Wait"
"Wait and see"
"Trust in me"

And everything will turn out right....

Lessons being Learned...

2006-11-08T22:45:00.000-08:00

I know I have not been posting lately, but God has been showing me so many new and exciting things these last few weeks. I feel like I have grown so much because trials have been coming into my life. How can we grow if there is no pain? How can we learn if we don't fail? Man, this week has been tough but truly amazing. I will write more later on about this, but now I know that I need to just keep my eyes on what is ahead and where the Lord wants me to go. Its so easy to get bogged down with things to do, places to go, people to hang out with. I find that when I look towards myself I become discontent, I want more, and I don't want to wait on the Lord at all. But I know that I must, He says wait because I have much to do in very little time, He wants me to focus with little distractions. ANd trust in Him to bring along those things that I desire when its right in His timeing....Praise be to God for He is worthy to be praised, through the think and the thin!

Busy Times

2006-07-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

So wow, things are going crazy busy now but I couldn't be happier doing what I'm doing now. The internship is going great and even work at goodys is going well. I can't wait to move into my own apartment though and really get life going this coming school year. I'm ready to meet new people and have some great girl time! So I'm counting down the days until moving back to Va. THe Lord is so good and is growing me so much this summer through my leadership here at Brices and also in my friendships. Praise God for fellowship! I just wish I had more time to write, but I know that that time will come. For now, I am off to have my devos and head off to Jay's house for the cookout!

Romans 13:11-14

2006-06-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

"And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkeness, not in chambering and wantonnnes, not in strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof."

- Romans 13:11-14

Faith

2006-05-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

I feel as if my dreams have been shattered
The Lord is teaching me faith
I feel lonely and hurt
THe Lord is teaching me faith
I have been rejected
I have been chosen as second best...
the Lord is teaching me faith
I am sad....
I am in shock...
The Lord is teaching me faith

I will try to be strong
I will try to be wise
I will let go of the man
and hold onto my Lord
I will be patient
I will be trusting
THe Lord is teaching me faith

and as He is teaching
I must litsen
I must not close off my eyes
I must not close off my ears
I must litsen with my entire being
I must litsen with my heart
I am litsening with my soul and mind

The Lord is teaching me Faith
And I will be a student...

God is in Control

2006-05-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

So, I was taken aback on Wednesday night, when things were going so good. I kept praying that I would love God more and more each day. And quite a shock came into place...I have never experienced so much pain...so much betrayal from a Christian in my entire life...now I know that this is just one chapter of my life that is finnished, and now it is time to begin another one. I know that this will only draw me nearer to the Lord and that there is a purpose for it. I just pray for that girl...that she will see what has happened and be weary...because he has a high likly hood to do the same to her...this peom was given to me by a girl on my hall....its absolutely perfect....

My Princess Danielle

Give me your plans
I know you have an idea in your head
On how everything should unfold
In your life
Even though you have an agenda
And because I love you
I need you to give me back
All your plans for today
And for all your tomorrows
If you let me have your day
I can then intervene with something special
My intervention will give you more joy in your journey
Than all your good intensions
I know all that your heart longs for
And I want to do more for you than you could ever
Do for yourself
So give me a chance to change you agenda from
Ordinary to extraordinary
Because that’s the kind of life I’ve destined for you to live
My love, My beloved
Love,
Your King and Planner

Praise be to God!

2006-05-02T15:46:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord He is so good! Well, He has been good all along, but I choose now to realize that. SOmetimes when you go through things, you can't see the good in it, but then when things turn out the best from the good, you see why God allowed certain things and certain people into your life. Praise be to God, and let me tell you what, the Lord does answer prayer. And we should never doubt or abuse the priveledge we have to be able to pray like we can. More prayer is what is needed! Praise be to God! He is so good and amazing!!!

Open and Close

2006-04-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

A heart is open
Another is closed
A heart is hurt
Another is as well
One desires honestly
The other closure
One heart seeks for vunderability
Another heart seeks for pertection
A heart is open
Another is closed
But how will these hearts ever love again?
If one is closed off
And the other is willing to share?

That is the key
two hearts can't love if both are closed
One heart can love and the other not
But the unloved heart will break
Until it is no longer a heart
but nothing but pieces
Both hearts must be open
Both hearts must be honest
Both hearts must share
Both hearts must speak
Both hearts must listen
One heart is open
Another is closed

I pray for an open heart, no matter how closed other hearts may be
And I pray for strength to bear the pain of a closed off heart
I pray that I may be an open heart
Just as Jesus had an open heart to the world
He was hurt
He was humiliated
He was tortured
He was killed
I pray for the love that He gave, not only to a few selected individuals
But to the entire world
I open my heart, I don't hide it or cover it up
I open to my heart to love

I say this with apprehension
Maybe its not good to open my heart
But I have no peace with it closed
Maybe closed to a few
And open to others

A heart is open
Another is closed...

I prayed hard for you

2006-04-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder "why?"
Sometimes I wonder, "can it really be this hard?"
It makes me think
It makes me want to help
but then I ask myself "why?"
They can't change
Only you can

Sometimes I wonder, "why am I holding on?"
When it seems so hopeless
Then I am answered with "pray for him"
Then I realize, "I can help"

I fall to my knees
Tears stream from my eyes
my heart aches with pain for Him
and now I can say, "I prayed for you"
But what with that?
Can I say, "I prayed hard for you"?
I desire to be of assitence, yet I myself desire not to be destroyed

I am answered with "pray for him"
So when the times are hard
when I begin to ask myself "why?" or "when?" or "how?"
I will kneel to my knees, speak softly to my Lord, and allow my tears to be wept
Then through all the fear, doubt, confusion, and apprehension,
I can say, "I prayed hard for you"

Emotionally Drained

2006-04-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

I am tired of being treated like dirt all the time
I am tired of trying to help people all the time
I am tired of people who constantly take what you have to give them and then they just take some more
I'm tired of people who are always taking from me
I'm tired of people I can't trust because they have lied to me throughout a relationship
I'm tired of people who say there sorry a million times but over and over again they make the same mistake
I'm tired of people hurting me
I'm tired of giving out my emotions
I am tired of making mistakes

I'm tired of men.....
thats what it comes down too
Men...
they hurt you and use you for everything that you have to offer
they take your love, your money, your time...
they take your grades, they take your friends...
and they still cheat on you!
And they still blame you!
And they still make themselves look like the good guys!
They use you and degrade you and take away your spirituality
I'm tired of men, and I am tired of trying to please them

Thats it, thats my blurb, I hate men...they use and abuse
Beware all women!

The Battle

2006-02-05T11:51:00.000-08:00

The Battle
Guilt still lingers…heavy hearts still sigh…a sobbing soul still cries…
What else needs to be done?
What else needs to be confessed?
Demons mocking our flesh…sin overshadowing us…a dreary fog encompassing our bodies…
Is the battle over?
Have we lost the war?
Laying on the filthy ground…naked…bruised…torn…covered in mud…covered in filth
What use would it serve for me to rise?
To stand before all ashamed and guilty…
As I lay I hear the shots being fired overhead…the screams of men and women as they are fighting…
I open up my blurry and foggy eyes and lift my head up enough just to see what is around me
There is a battle going on…a war to be won…
The enemy is strong…girded with spiky armor…drenched in fiery red blood…steamy and hot…
My naked body is twisted and mangled…I use every once of my strength to observe what is around me…
There are men and woman fighting against these demons…yet they come in three forms…
Men and women who are fully armored, with helmet, breastplate, and shield…
They strike down the demons with skill and strength…defeating hundreds of demons…
There are men and women with simply a helmet…taking blows to the chest, legs and arms…bringing them to their knees and causing them to fight from the ground…barely keeping them from being overtaken by the demons…some have nothing but a shield…allowing them to be knocked in the head, making them fall and lay still unconscious…many have nothing but a breastplate…having their head vulnerable and making their hands serve as a shield…
Then there are men and women who have nothing on at all but skim…
I watch with tears in my eyes as I see a man, young and healthy
Step into the battlefield
His eyes fill with terror as the demons encompass around him
Engulfing his entire being…he falls…dead…
My heart beats faster as my ears are filled with screams and sounds of artillery
I watch as one by one, men and women who were naked, fall dead to the ground…
I watch as one by one, men and women with just a little armor, keep getting wounded and hurt…
I watch as one by one, as fully armored men and women
Kill hundreds of demons and desperately try to protect their wounded comrades…
I realized now…that I should have been girded fully with armor
Before stepping into the battlefield…
Why am I still alive?
Why can I still move?
All these other naked men and women were killed instantly…
Why not I?
I look around me with new determination…
Yet the bullets flying above my head would kill me instantly if I tried to rise…
“I want to fight” I whispered
my feeble voice was heard…the breath I uttered reached Someone’s ears…
an armored solider caught me eye…
an armored solider saw my potential…
an armored solider sensed my determination…
an armored solider decided to give me another shot…
He lifted his shield as I rose to my feet
He blocked every bullet…ever arrow…every spear…as I ran with all my strength…
I ran to a helmet…to a shield…and to a breastplate…left by others who once fought this battle…
I girded myself up and began slaying demons with a renewed strength…a renewed faith…a renewed righteousness…a renewed salvation…

Guilt can be stripped away…heavy hearts now lifted…tears wiped from my soul…
There is much to be done…
All has been confessed…
The demons shatter…the Son has chased the shadow of sin away…the fog clears…
The battle is not over…
Yet the war is already won…
Up from the filthy ground…restored…refreshed…strengthened…armored…
Covered in Love…covered in Grace…
He called for me to Arise…
I am arisen…
And ready to fight the battle…

2006-02-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

A Sacred Romance

A Sacred Romance
A Sacred Call
A Sacred Love
A Sacred Whisper

He wants to love us
He wants to be intimate with us
Will we love Him?
Will we show Him the depths of our souls?
A Sacred Romance
A Holy Love

He calls to us morning and night
Never ceasing or tiring
Will we have open ears to hear His call?
Will we respond when we do?
A Sacred Calling
A Holy Voice

He wants us to find peace
He wants us to have Pure Joy
Will we choose His Love?
Will we receive His Passion?
A Sacred Love
A Holy Passion

He speaks to us in a whisper
He wants us to feel His Presence
Will we be seeking for that Whisper?
Or will we run from His Breath?
A Sacred Whisper
A Holy Breath

Heartbreak

2006-01-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

He said, but only after I said
Would he have ever said?
Thats what I'm wondering
Thats what broke my heart
He said he would, but only after I told him how I felt
Is it real?
Thats whats breaking my heart
He didn't even ask
Thats whats breaking my heart

Comfort for Confusion

2005-12-31T21:19:00.000-08:00

When I am in my most confused states of mind, these verses are the promises that God has given us to assure us. Sometimes it doesn't work right away, just by reading them that is. Maybe that is because you really don't want to get out of your confustion. You might be thinking, "what! Of course I do! These verses just don't help me!" Try meditating on them then, TRYING to believe them....

I'm confused right now....and here are the verses that are promised to me by Him....

“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them”
- Psalm 119:165

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6

“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”
- John 8:32

“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed”
- II Cor. 4:8-9

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”
- II Tim. 1:7

“For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.”
- I Cor. 2:16

“Lead me in they truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. Remember, Oh Lord, thy tender mercies and thy loving kindness; for they have been ever of old”
- Psalm 25: 5-6

“Thou wilt keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee”
- Isaiah 26:3

“I will hear what God the Lord will speak: for he will speak peace unto his people, and to his saints: but let them not turn again to folly.”
- Psalm 85:8

WE MADE OUR GOAL!

2005-12-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

We raised our goal for Samaritan's Purse! We raised $1,980 and our original goal was $1,953. Its amazing how the Lord worked in this project and I am more than thrilled to imagine the impact that this money will have on children and families around the world. There were many that said that we were asking for way too much money, well, all I have to say, is that we weren't asking too much for God. He has blessed this beyond belief and has taught me and others the importance of diligence, visions, and most importantly, faith.
I want to say a big thanks to the most helpful people in this project which was East 7, dorm 8, and Brices Creek Bible Church. The prayer leaders, SLDs and RA's of dorm 8 were amazing in raising money to help us out! Thank you so much dorm 8! Also, the people on my mailing list who gave very generously to this organization. I can't begin to express the gratitude I have in my heart for those of you have been a direct answer to prayer. I give all the glory to God because He is the only one that allowed this to happen, the only One to who this was started in the beginning, and the only One that this money is for.
I sent out all the money this past Tuesday after changing all the cash into a money order, I should be receiving receipts and "in honor" cards after a few weeks. Because of the additional money we received, we were able to give to more items in the catalog. I will have them all listed below along with all the other items we were able to raise money for. Once again, thank you dorm 8 and Brices Creek Bible Church for your generous donations. Also, a shout out for all the prayer leaders that were very diligent, self-giving and supportive of this project, you all know who you are, thank you so much for the words of support and the willingness to work hard!
Next year I am planning on doing this same fund- raiser for Samaritan's Purse. Yet this semester has showed me a lot more important changes that I need to make. Also, I want to raise the goal and Lord-willing, be able to raise money for each item in the catalog. More on that next year! Below are the items that we were able to raise money for this year:

- hot meals
- Feed a hungry infant for a week
- Life-saving food
- Milk
- Baby Chicks
- Seed kit
- Give a Family the gift of good health
- gospel storybooks for Operation Christmas child
- blankets
- food parcels
-Buy an airline ticket to save a child's life ($400 instead of $200)
- Rescue a child from bondage and abuse
- Help poor farmers feed their families
- Emergency Housing for a displaced family
- Provide vital health care for mothers and babies
- Emergency Medicine
- Family Survival Kit
- change the future of a disabled child
- transform a life with the gift of a wheelchair
- Comfort an innocent victim of AIDS
- Life-saving Medical Equipment and supplies
- give an orphan a month of loving care
- keep a baby clean and dry
- biscyles and tools for evangelism
- train a young believer to win people to christ
- introduce girls and boys to God's word
- help a child to learn to read and write
- bibles and Christian literature
Added
- Clothing for those in need
- Shared in the cost of buying snowmobiles and support for Siberian Evangelists
- Shared in the cost of buying gospel films, projectors, and evangelistic tools
- Bibles for Quality Kids
- Mosquito Nets
- Fishing Boats
- Fish

Me, Me, and Me

2005-12-16T22:43:00.000-08:00

Its been way too much about me these last few days, like tonight all I was thinking about was myself. What a wrong additude! I need to be loving and forgiving and working on these areas in my life that i need to get worked out. Why haven't I talked much about missions? Just because he doesnt' doesn't mean I shouldn't. I still need to have that burning passion, that fire within me, that is my responsibility, my free will.
I know where my passions lie, I know where the Lord is leading me these days....Now I just need to trust and obey, trust and obey... I shouldn't worry about all the bad things, i need to focus on the good and learn from everything else and hold onto the good.

Can I tell you I am sorry? I want to be the woman that you desire, that you want in life just like I want you to be the man I desire and want in life. But I need to focus on myself and if you are the right one for me He will lead us together and if not He will lead us apart....I must constantly prepare my heart for that....to be content with that because that would be His ultimate will in my and your life....

I just want you to be happy and learn with me....I want you to be proud of me...I want you to want me to be yours....and I want all the same things as well....only if its in His plan....

Expectations

2005-12-15T23:30:00.000-08:00

It is 2:30am now....and my emotions are flying...I feel so many things right now....guilt mainly being one of them...

I was thinking about expectations...and how we tend to place them on each other. Or we try to live up to someone else's expectations. Well I failed my own tonight, I didn't live up to mine. I don't know whats going on with me right now. I feel like I just want to give up on everything, give up on my boyfriend, give up on my testimony, give up on my school...honestly I could go out and party and club right now...

See, thats expecations on ourselves does to ourselves. We can't out expectations on others, we can't live up to expectatoins either because they put them there. I put expectations there for the wrong reason. Now I change my reasoning, my expectations are there to marry a godyly man who passionately loves the Lord and serves Him with all his heart.

And just because someone else doesn't meet expectations, that gives me no right at all to lower mine and fail at mine. Thats what I tend to do, "well you failed so let me fail as well so you don't feel as bad"....well, right now I feel terrible....I feel like I can't trust you because I can't trust myself...

Expectations are sounding more like a curse right now aren't they? Well, expectations can be if used the wrong way....could we use them the right way? Could we make it a fun challenge to better our lives and not look at it as something wrong that we're doing, but something we can learn to grow in...

I am so weak...I am so unworthy...I feel so guilty...i keep thinking..."how could you do this? I thought about that they entire time....but how could I be doing this?"

"Lord, I am so weak, strengthen me....take away these demons in my life now..."

December

2005-12-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to pray about this month.....its going to be a good time of reflection and desition making. I realize that I tend to use way too many words and don't leave enough just for thought and reflection. This month I might try just not saying as much and just make people wonder "what is going on in her head?" Maybe it will even cause people to ask....

All I know is that I want to do my best for the Lord, I want to serve Him with all my might and I want to serve with other people who make that effert as well. My heart is open to many things, I have a lot running through my head. Mainly to be patient and wait on Him for the answers to the many questions that are are swimming around in my head. I think too many people think its easy....easy to make expectations and keep them....well i can tell them thats its really difficult.....It is hard to have expectations, then wonder if their supposed to be there, or wonder when to give up....or to realize that a pattern is forming.....

I want my eyes to be open, open to what the Lord has for me, what He has for me to give right back to Him. I don't want to push things aside and make stupid excuses as to why I am not doing my best for Him. I don't want to just stick with things because its better for one person, what if its better for 10 people, 100, or even 1,000 if its the other way? I don't want to stick to one thing because I want it.......

I don't know, this is a bunch of rambling, its just difficult at times, sometimes I wonder, why do I do this? Why don't I just do this that and this? I can tell you.....this semester has been very trying in many different ways.....but oh man, the Lord has many things in store for next semester.....a lot of prayer....a lot of prayer.....time of reflection and objectiveness......

Lord, please give me Your discernment, give me Your wisdom, help to open my eyes to what you have for me to see that which is before me, the good and the bad. Open my ears to hear the details of warnings, yellow and red flags, give understanding to my heart in order for me to be my all for You. To have a heartbeat that beats in rythm with You and no one elses.....

Lord i pray that You guide me where You want me Lord, I will wait when you say wait.....I will fullfill the purpose that You have in my life day to day....I will try to live as patiently as possible....for Your more revealed will in my life.....

Samaritan's Purse

2005-12-08T07:31:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! I am doing a fundraiser on my hall for Samaritan's purse and we have a goal of $1,210 to raise before Christmas! The deadline for Liberty is Dec. 15 but not until Sunday the 19th when I get back. We have already raised $535! We will be able to give many children and families the gift of health, food, Christian ligature, and so much more! Please look over the details I have put at the bottom of this email of the individual goals set for our prayer leaders and their partners. Email me back a pledge of what you are able to give, and I will collect the money from people I know here on Dec. 15th and people back home on Sunday 18th or 19th! Thank you so much and if you need more information then please email me back! Any amount of money is helpful, even change! Please email me back! And if you are unable to give please keep us in prayer! We have been working on this since October and have raised $535, I know we can reach our desired goal! Thank you so much and God bless!!!

Danielle Sarchet

P.S - for those of you who do not live near me or others you can still give to this fund raiser by sending them to:

Danielle Sarchet
403 Seven Seas Dr.
Havelock, NC, 28532

MAKE ALL CHECKS PAYABLE TO SAMARITAN"S PURSE!!!! This will keep me from making a trip to the bank!

Courtney: $217 to raise
- hot meals
- Feed a hungry infant for a week
- Life-saving food
- Milk
- Baby Chicks
- Seed kit
- Give a Family the gift of good health
- gospel storybooks for Operation Christmas child
- blankets
- food parcels

Partner: JJ

Erin S. $400 to raise
- Buy an airline ticket to save a child's life
Partner: Brett

Jenn Hill: $450
- Rescue a child from bondage and abuse
- Help poor farmers feed their families

Partner: Jose

Jessica Smith: $235
- Emergency Housing for a displaced family
- Provide vital health care for mothers and babies
Partner: Christian

Anna Fredrickson: $430
- Emergency Medicine
- Family Survival Kit
- change the future of a disabled child
- transform a life with the gift of a wheelchair

Partner: Eric

Julie: $232
- Comfort an innocent victim of AIDS
- Life-saving Medical Equipment and supplies
- give an orphan a month of loving care
- keep a baby clean and dry
Partner: JR

Jenni Jesse: $158
- bicycles and tools for evangelism
- train a young believer to win people to Christ
- introduce girls and boys to God's word
- help a child to learn to read and write
- bibles and Christian ligature
Partner: Joel

The Wait Poem

2005-11-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...

and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I relate

hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.

Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

as my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting....for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love

when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

the faith that I give when you walk without site.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,

what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent my child, and in time you will see

that the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

- Russell Kelfer

prayer

2005-11-01T09:49:00.000-08:00

There are so many emotoins that I am feeling right now. I am playing the song "yearn" over and over again until it just gets smashed into my head. I am so torn up, shredding to pieces right now. I had placed my heart into some one's hands that dropped it on accident. Yet I still hurt, my heart is still bruised. I head still aches, my mind is still troubled. Its hard for me to get up now. All I want to do is sleep and starve. I don't want food, cause each time it reaches my lips i want to gag. I break, for my Lord, for my friend.....i break for his heart....he is hurting so bad right now and that breaks my heart...and I am hurting, with dissapointment and shame. I am nervous. I still am thinking about all the things that were said and all the things that weren't said. I desire to understand and be of help.....i feel so useless.....sorrow is overflowing me. I just can't take it. What happened? What did I do wrong? Why does it have to be this way? What can change? What do you want?

"Oh Lord I cry out to You. I am weary. I am tired. I am worn Lord. Please give me Your power and strength. Give me Your words and not words of mine own. Work through me God, give me Your Holy Spirit. Father give me peace with WHATEVER happens. Oh Lord I want it back, but don't let my flesh rule over me. Whatever is best the Lord give us....I will wait on You...I have to get this out...everything out Lord....I will wait on You. God HELP me....give me perseverance God....I want to Yearn for You, I want to BURN with passion, over You!! ONLY YOU!!!! Help me Lord with that....I love you Lord, help me God....Only You give life and breath!! In You we live and move!!! Thats why I sing Lord, I want to yearn for You, I want to burn with passion, over You!!!! Lord i want to yearn for You!!! Father You can lift me up again, please do it.....help me Lord....."

I cry out

2005-10-31T16:32:00.000-08:00

Lord I cry out to You!! My soul screams! My heart breaks!! My body is weak Lord, give me Your strength, help me to move on Father! I year for You Lord! I want to be used by You! Give me Your healing Power, give me Your great wisdom....helo my body Lord....

My Desire....My Prayers....

2005-10-30T20:09:00.000-08:00

I don’t want to settle for the “good” in my life but the “best” that God has for me. Why? So that I won’t just do “good” for Him but only the “best”. I ask Him for the best and patiently await His promise…..

“Oh Lord break their hearts, speak to them in such a way that they will be inclined to go in Your name. May their selfish ways and wayward hearts be put to the side. Lord open a mighty door for them, whisper in their ears, and may their ears be open”

“Lord I pray for the people that You have placed in my life that challenge me. I pray that You break down those barriers and call them forth from the miry clay that they are in. I pray that You clear their ears and open their eyes so that they will be able to understand Your ways and see why we are hear. Lord give me strength and patience for those who are reluctant, I pray that they will hear Your calling for their lives. Instill in them a desire to radically serve You 100% and not 99.9%. Give me such a fiery flame that others can’t help but to catch the heat. I pray for all selfishness to die out!”

Acts 28: 24 “And some believed the things which were spoken, and some believed not”

Acts 28:27 “ For the heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes have they closed; lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them”

May our ears never be dull of hearing
May our eyes never be closed
May we see with our eyes
May we hear with our ears
May we understand with our hearts

Psalm 23 and my prayer

2005-10-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

Psalm 23

Because of Him I shall not want
Because of Him I will walk by still waters
(though there are storms around, your soul can be still if you walk with Him by the waters)
Because of Him your soul will be restored
Because of Him you will fear no evil
Because of Him you will be comforted
Because of Him goodness and mercy will follow you
Because of Him you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever

Because of Him....not because of you
Will you run to Him....or will you run to yourself?

My Prayer

"Lord guide me for I am lost
Lead me in the direction You want me to go
Show me the path that You want me to take
Lord comfort me for I am discouraged
Wrap me in Your merciful arms
Whisper reminders of Your love in my ear
Lord teach me for I am unknowledgable
Give me words to speak
give me words to write"

screaming inside

2005-10-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am screaming inside
So many emotions
So many feelings
Bad and Good
I feel so incrediably vunerable right now
That I can be torn into two with a snap of a finger
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to write
All I want to do is scream
because inside I am screaming inside
I don't know what the right thing to do is
I don't know what the right thing is to say
I want to just sit back and let it happen the right way
Can that happen without my intervening?
I feel like I am screaming inside
I can't keep this all inside
I can't bottle it up anymore
It will be out.....
Tomorrow.....

"Oh Lord I pray that you give me wisdom.....give him peace.....give me the words to say.....give me the strength to take what he may say.....what he may do.....I give all to You now dear Jesus.....I lay it in Your Hands....and in no one else's.....in Your's.....because you are the Lover of my Soul.....You fill my cup....."

A New Start

2005-09-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was looking over the things that I had written over this summer and the semester proir to that and I realized that there are so many stages in life that God leads us.....Each day is a new day....a new start.....
I was in the prayer room today after my last class and I opened up my journal that I had started at the begining of last semester and its a big journal, but I put a huge dent in it over the summer....the Lord was showing me so many things in just 3 months...I look at my journal writing as a written record of what the Lord is doing in my life...and as I opened up my journal this morning I realized that compared to the 2-3 pages I would write a day during the summer I was only writing half a page every week or so....and as I was sitting there it suddenly hit me that I might not be allowing God to move through me the way He did this summer....
Granted I am very busy with school, church and Sld, but that is no excuse to not giving my all to Him....no excuse to not allow Him to work in my life.....
So needless to say....I wrote a lot and I love the words that God gives me to put my thoughts on paper.... so this is a declaration of a new start.....a new start to do the following....

1. do better in my schoolwork
2. Have morning devotionals and a quiet time and prayer time
3. To focus on my ministry as an SLD more than i have been
4. To focus on the Lord and have faith in what He holds for my future and everyone who is affected by my future.....

I have been extreamly distracted by so many things this past month and I realize that these distractions can only be bringing me down, keeping me from the One that I am here at Liberty for....so this is my prayer, that I may be able to keep my eyes focused on Him and my mind free from distractions.....The distractions that come along are all part of life, but need to be dealt with in an God- honoring way....when life-threatening situations happen....when confustion in relationships occur....when drama happens...when uncertainity about life pops up.....turn to the Lord....This is where my new start comes from.....a new plan, a new prayer, and a new begining to do strive to do my best for my Lord......

Random thoughts...

2005-08-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm just posting a bunch of random thoughts right here because I'm talking to a few people online and the conversations are in those begining stages where it doens't require that much thought to write "lol" and "how are you doing".
So I'm leaving for LU tomorrow morning bright and early at 5am! I am so excited that I can't even think! I have way too much stuff to do in a small given amount of time, I guess I should take the time to just relax but I'm way to stoked!! I'm also nervous as well, I need to be in a lot of prayer for my hall, my school, my work, and yes, boys too! God has a lot of things in store for a lot of people this year, I can feel it in my bones....but hey, I'm going to list off a bunch of things because I'm in the mood for "list making".....

1. I remember walking in unfinnished houses with my dad, checking out the floor plans...
2. I'm excited and nervous about going back to LU
3. I love the feeling when you can pack your car just perfectly...
4. I miss praising the Lord with my Karyn at LU...
5. I must keep focused on my team of ten...
6. I must pray for wisdom in who goes on the team of ten....
7. I'm concerned for my youth group and new college kids...
8. I will miss my friends here who love God with all their hearts!
9. I want to make an impact on the world....
10. I want to make an impact on someone's life...
11. I miss going "giggin" with my daddy...
12. I will miss snuggling with my little sister Dana
13. I wish that my friends in relationships could just get a grip on life...
14. I want the whole entire world to come to know Christ..
15. I wish I hadn't packing up my BIble...
16. I pray that my trip tomorrow will be safe...

Man I'm soooo stoked!! I can't wait!!!

Extream Return

2005-07-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Who wouldn't want to be brave like Peter, impulsively striking those who came to arrest Jesus Christ? Yet, who isn't also weak like Peter, denying Christ in almost the same instance under the threat of opposition? God does not chide us for our humanity. He accepts our weakness and works with us until we are strong again. Just as God restored Peter and other believers, He can restore our stout courage again. Have you suffered from the memory of a missed opportunity to stand up for Christ? Ask God to restore you today. He will begin to prepare you even now for your next opportunity to stand strong." - Extream Devotion

This was great encourgement to me as I was reading my devotions, we do fail, we are human but we can still rise to His calling again through His strength and His strength alone!

Fireworks

2005-07-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

Fireworks

Reminders of past mistakes

Reminders of a broken heart

Reminders of present embarresments

Reminders of my girly stupidity

Reminders of future uncertainties

Reminders of my discontentment

I hated standing there

As they sat together on the lawn

He ignoring me

Me kicking myself

Watching was making me explode inside

Watching made me realize how stupid I am

How selfish I am

Watching made me angry

-against men

-agaisnt my co-workers

-agaisnt my friends

-against myself

I walked admidst a hundred people

Walked by myself, tears welling up in my eyes

My phone rang....7 times

Hearing made me realize...

Realize how God was using this day...

Hearing made me understand him and me

Hearing made me realize....

What I need to do...

There are bigger things in this world....

Like fireworks.....

To Be Like a Child

2005-07-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

"Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 19:14

I read this the other day in my book In His Own Words and it really hit me how so often we don't like to be treated like children or how we try not to act like children. When in reality, sometimes we should. Children are so eager to make someone happy, to please someone, to make someone laugh. Sometimes what people need is just that for there hurting souls. I love how it says "for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
I for one want to act like a child. TO laugh as a child, to be pure as a child, to cry as a child, to be honest as a child, to give as a child, to be loving as a child, to come to Jesus as a child: humble, un-worrying, and eager. Try to live as a child today.....

"Watch you step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are the desperate times!!" Ephesians 5:15

"Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity." Colossians 4:5

"These things I have told you are all true. I want you to insist on them so that everyone who trusts in God will be careful to do good deeds all the time. THese things are good and beneficial for everyone" - Titus 3:8

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. THerefore, as we have opportunity. let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galations 6:9

"See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all." - I Thess. 5:15

"So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart" - Pslam 90:12

Quotes:

"Jesus loved everyone, but He loved children most of all" - Mother Teresa

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so; little ones to him belong;they are weak but he is strong." - Anna B Warner

"The gospel says that the inescapable condition of entrance into the divine fellowship is that we turn and become as a little child." - Elton Trueblood

"The stops of a good man are ordered by the Lord as well as his steps." - George Muller

"He loves each one of us, as if there were only one of us." - Saint Augustine

"I love little children, and it is not a slight thing when they who are fresh from God, love us." - Charles Dickens

"Jesus, friend of little children, be a friend to me; take my hand and ever keep me, close to thee." - Walter J. Mathams

"Did you ever litsen to children pray? Their faith knows no bounds. And who are the least surprised people when God answers prayer? The children. But then we get older and grow too sophisticated for that. We use phrases like, "Lets be realistic about this." We lose that expectancy, that urgency of hope, that delightful, childlike, wide-eyed joy of faith. But God hasn't changed. He still delights in doing impossible things."
Five Meaningful Minutes a Day

Searching for the Proverbs 31 Man

2005-06-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

1. The Proverbs 31 man has an intimate knowledge of God - "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend." Exodus 33:11

2. The Proverbs 31 man knows God intimately; therefore, he is able to discern the needs of the woman in his life. - "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." I Cor. 2:14

3. The Proverbs 31 man has a vision for his life and a secure sense of purpose and destiny - "For God does speak - now one way, now another -though man may not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men as they slumber in their beds." Job 33: 14-15

4. A Proverbs 31 Man is secure in his manhood - "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

5. The Proverbs 31 Man is able to prioritize the issues in his life and deal with them accordingly - "...go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac." Genesis 24:4

6. A Proverbs 31 Man is honest in his commitments and devotes himself wholeheartedly to them. - "Teach me your way, Oh Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivded heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

7. THe Proverbs 31 man clears the path and leads his wife on the course of righteousness - "But as for me and my household, I will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

8. The Proverbs 31 man assumes the responsibility for covering his wife - "When I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered in a covenant with you" declares the Sovereign Lord, "and you became mine" Ezekiel 16:8

9. The Proverbs 31 man realizes that his word equals his life and makes the sacrifice needed to honor his vows. - "Suppose one of you to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?" Luke 14: 28

10. The Proverbs 31 Man knows how remance his woman - "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3

11. The Proverbs 31 husband embodies the nature of Christ - "In that day," declares the Lord, "You will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master'" Hosea 2:16

Here is only half of the statements and verses, I don't want to dwell on this for too long or I would post more, but frankly this isn't my favorite topic as of now. I like it but its not what I'm passionate about probably because I'm not dateing as of yet. Just remember these verses aren't just for the men, they are for the women too and this book points this out. They actually have study guide questions for him, for her and for the both of them together. I do recommend the book for a dating couple, its an easy read it helps with accountability. Ok, thats all for me!!

Foolish

2005-06-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today I decided that I was going to feel bad for myself when things went wrong....
Today I wanted to just sit and litsen to music that depressed me.....
I could have looked on the bright side, it wasn't that hard to do...
But I wanted to mope...
I wanted to cry....
I wanted to scream....
How foolish was I?

Someone breaks a promise...
Someone disappoints you...
What are YOU going to do about it?
How are YOU going to react?

YOu can't change what happened...
but you sure can change how you behave...
WIll I choose to live a lie?
Will I just give up....
Man, how foolish was I?

Shine for Jesus

2005-06-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, I haven't posted for a very long time but I wanted to write this out because its one of my favorite topics....Letting your light shine for Christ! I guess I love it so much because when i wasn't walking with the Lord I was surrounded by darkness and I really didn't realize it then as I do now and Satan can still use that as a foothole in my life....memories...thats why i love this topic, its about shineing and i am ale to do that now because Jesus Christ saved me out of the darkness and now I can do my part to glow!

"Over your head flickers a bejeweled sky, seen only at night. Here is one of the great ironies of life: the darker the night, the brighter the stars.

Darkness has no substance, but it can feel heavy and oppressive. UNwanted darkness is persistent. It cannot be swept from your life, vacuumed away, or tucked in a corner. The only way to get rid of darkness is to introduce light.

Jesus's words are a reminder that you are a light of the world. Just as the night sky is tempered by the many stars that shine in it, so you too can contribute your light to the world. Sometimes you need someone else's light; other times they need yours. Fragile as you are, your light can still put darkness in its place. What is your light? It is every kind word, every wrong forgiven, every bit of wisdom shared and love expressed. Darkness cannot overcome the light that blazes out of you."

One Final THought: You are the light of the world and your glow can push back any darkness. Share your light. Combine your light with others and watch the darkness flee.

I loved this you guys! I hope it can be an encouragment for you like it was for me! I could go on forver and ever about this topic but I will let this be short! I have these verses to go along with it and a few worthy quotes......

Mathew 5:15-16
Philippians 2:14-15
I John 1:7
Ephesians 5:8
I thessalonians 5:5

Quotes: "From a little spark may burst a mighty flame." - Dante Alighirri

"At times out own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark form another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratittude of those who have lighted the flame within us"- Albert Schweitzer

"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world" - William shakespeare

"THe true diversion of humanity is between those who live in light and those who live in darkness" - Victor Hugo

"We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won't need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don't fire cannons to call attention to their shining - they just shine" - dwight L. Moody

Extream Willingness: Philippines: A young girl

2005-06-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

"My dress," the young girl murmured, her words slurred through swollen lips. "Please give me my dress. I want to hold it."

The Christians surrounding the girl's bed were sad. Because of her extensive internal injuries, doctors could do nothing for her. Weeks ago, the believers had bought her a white dress to celebrate her new life and pure heart in Christ Jesus.

He father had not been pleased with his daughter's decision to follow Christ. One night, in a drunken rage, he attacked his daughter, beating and kicking her. He left her lying in the muddy street to die.

When she did not show up for church, her Christian friends went looking for her. They found the girl unconcious, lying in a heap, her formerly white dress now covered in blood and mud. She was brought to a doctor, but her injuries were severe.

Now she was asking for her dress.

"The dress is ruined," her friends told her. They tried to talk out of it, thinking that seeing the ruined dress would break down the girl's spirit.

With a simple faith of a ten-year-old, she whispered, "Please, I want to show the dress to Jesus. He was willing to bleed for me. I just want Jesus to know that I was willing to bleed for Him."

Shortly afterwards, the young girl died.

Absolutely powerful.....

Prayer to Make my Own---and quotes

2005-05-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

Something that I'm realizing now is how amazing God works. When I'm down and I don't want to read or pray, then I do and God shows me what I need to see and encourages me so much. Another thing that amazes me: how often I keep doing that, how often I just don't want to read or pray because I don't feel like it or I'm too tired. Yet God has proven Himself to me so many times....and yet I still continue to doubt how He works. Though He has proven Himself faithful...so advice.....just read your Bible and pray, no matter how tired or busy you are. Believe me, its worth it.

"Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
WHere there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

Oh Divine Master, grant that I may so
Much seek to be console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
-St. Francis of Assisi

"During the last war we were taught that, in order to obtain our objective, we had to be willing to be expendable... We know that there is only one anwer when our country demands that we share in the price of freedom - yet when the Lord Jesus asks us to pay the price for world evangeliszation, we often answer without a word. We cannot go. We say it costs too much... Missionaries constantly face expendability.
-Nate Saint, A Missionary Martyred in the Ecuadorian Jungle in 1956

"We have learned that suffering is not the worst thing in the world - disobedience to God is the worst."
- A Veitnamese Christian Pastor Imprisoned fo his faith

Thankful!

2005-05-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for:
1. True friendship that I know will last a lifetime...
2. New friendships starting.....hopefully lasting!
3. True brothers in christ....the ones I can run to support and advice
4. My little Karyn*little black baby!*
5. My family...no matter how crazy they can get! I love them!
6. My quiet times with the Lord....the truly quiet ones
7. The pain and trials that God allows in my life...
8. I am so thankful for the new section of christian books in Books a millon, now i can go over there and read on my breaks from work....
9. Books...lots and lots of books where the words jump out to you!
10. Dancing.....don't know how to explain that one!
11. Clean scary movies....
12. The long drive to work....
12. my dogs...
13. Sunday sermons....here and at LU
14. Wednesday Bible studies....sweet fellowship...
15. For what God saved me out of....

Extream pain: Sudan

2005-05-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

THis is an amazing story, all the stories are, but really there not stories, these things actually happened to these people and to these children. I don't know how people read this, but I'm hoping people can get a small idea about the passion that we as free Christians should serve and honor our Lord Jesus Christ....

I Peter 4:16 "However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."

"Say it with us," the soldiers screamed, kicking and punching the boy's faces and abdomens. "Allah is God, and Mohammed is his prophet. Say it!"

The four young Sudanese boys cried and screamed out for their mothers but they refused to repeat the words that would mean saving their lives yet renouncing their Christianity.Their red blood began to flow across their black skin, but they would not give up their faith in Christ.
The older teenage boys looked on in horror. They had seen their Southern Sudanese familes murdered by sword-weilding Islamic fighters. Now they watched as their four young friends and relatives - the youngest only five years old - were beaten to dealth.
Already the soldiers had forced each older boy to lie over hot coals and ordered them to repeat the Muslim creed and join the Islamic faith. None of the boys would say the words despite the excruciating pain.
There were fourteen boys and thirteen girls abducted in the raid that day. The girls have never been located and were likely sold as slaves or concubines in Northern Sudan. All of the boys were totured, but none relented.
The next night the older boys escaped, still bearing the scars of the previous nights. Not one renounced his faith.

Lies and truths

2005-05-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

I just finnished reading Not Even A Hint by Joshua Harris, and its the most amazing book! The end was wonderful and I wanted to type out some things that really stood out to me today. These are the lies and verses to contradict them, I didn't write out the verses but they are amazing verses and I will be trying to memorize these this summer. I really do recommend this book, its very upfront and honest, it may be uncomfortable for many people but its something that most young people deal with and must be confronted head on about and dealt with. SO here are the verses....

Lie: Lust is no big deal.
Truth: Job 31:11-12

Lie: A little sinful fantasizing won't hurt.
Truth: Romans 8:6
Galations 6:7-8
Romans 13:14

Lie: Taking radical action agains't sin isn't necesary
Truth: Matthew 5:29-30
2 Timothy 2:22

Lie: God won't mind a little compromise...
Truth: Colossians 3:5-6
Ephsians 5:3

Lie: Its my body, I can do what I want with it.
Truth: I Corinthians 6:18-20

Lie: I can't control my sex drive.
Truth: I Thessalonians 4:3-6

Lie: Looking at a few pornographic pictures won't effect me.
Truth: Proverbs 6:25-27
Psalm 101:3

Lie: I won't experience any consequences for indulging in my lust.
Truth: Romans 14:12
Hebrews 12:6
James 1:15

Lie: People get away with adultery
Truth: Proverbs 5:3-5
Proverbs 5:8-11

Lie: God is keeping something good from me.
Truth: Psalm 84:10-12

Lie: The pleasure lust promises is better and more real than God's pleasure.
Truth: Psalm 16:11

Lie: Fulfilling my lust will satisfy me.
Truth: Lamentations 3: 24-26
Proverbs 19:23

Lie: Too much purity will keep me from seeing and enjoying beauty.
Truth: Matthew 5:8
Psalm 11:17
Isaiah 33:17

A good quote from John Piper: "The fire of lust's pleasures must be fought with the fire of God's pleasures."

Galatians 6:7-9

Aide for Discouragement Rom. 12:1

2005-05-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

Today has been a very trying day, and very discouraging...but i still want to remain stong in Him. Satan is going to have to try harder than what he is throwing out because I am not backing down though...I will continue to love my Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and spirt. Here are hints to my troubled spirit..

1. Cruelness and ungentlemanliness (If thats even a word) to my sister and me
2. People ridiculing my faith and passion for God
3. Wondering if a friend is walking the way they say they are...

Sooo....in light of some of these concerns and trails.....i decided to put this story i read in Extream Devotion..hope you all enjoy...

Indonesia: Pastor Hendrick Pattiwael

"The huddled inside the room while hearing the screams of fellow Christians being butchered outside. Pastor Hendrick Pattiwael and his wife were helping to lead the Indonesian youth camp, and they felt responsible for the young people in their care.

The camp has been a joyous time of spiritual growth and worship. Then they were attacked. When the radical Muslim mab suurounded the building where they hid, Pastor Pattiwael went outside. Distracting the bloodthirsty mob's attention away from his wife and the young people, the pastor was attacked while the others escaped. "Jesus, help me." They were his final words. His wife next saw him lying in a coffin. Ugly wounds crisscrossed his torso and arms. In shock and anger, Mrs' Pattwael cried out to GOd. "HOw could you let this happen? Why didn't you protect my husband?" But the Holy Spirit reminded her of her husband's words only before the attack. "If you love Jesus, but you love me or your family more, you are unworthy of Christ's kingdom." He told her that he was ready to die for Christ's kingdom. Remembering those words, she refused to become bitter. She still works with her church in Indonesia. THe advice that she would give Christians in free nations is simply this: "Seek God more earnestly, so that you can stand in the midst of more trouble."

This was amazing for me, because I needed a lift from all the worries that are already starting to surround me. I almost hate being home but this writing is a release for me....and this verse is also.. "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1 Thats what I need to do in the midst of all this, give myself completely to GOd, because i am all of HIs. So, I am lifted up now, and tomorrow is another day....take care....

Excellence...

2005-05-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

I was reading in Dear Graduate and I finally finished the book but here are some quotes that really stuck out to me and I think are really worth typing out.

Excellence
"Why fight fiercely when so few seem to care? Why stand courageoulsy if it means risking ridicule, misunderstanding, or being considered a dreamer by some and a fool by others."

" Must we wait for someone else to establish our standard or to set our pace? It is my firm conviction that those who impact and reshape the world are the ones commited to living above the level of mediocrity."

" It is the difference between just getting by and soaring - that which sets apart the significant from the superficial, the lasting from the temporary."

"Excellence in physical and spiritual fervor just as much as excellence in relationships and craftsmanship. Since it is the living LOrd in the final analysis who appraises our excellence, it is He whom we must please and serve, honor and adore."

P.S. It lies before you now…
The untrod path,
The unopened door,
The mountain peak,
The broad, blue heavens.
I challenge you. Walk that path,
Open that door, climb the
Mountain heights. The sky’s the limit.
Let God be your guide
And hang tough – follow your
Dreams with determination.
And when you find yourself
Inundated with choices, don’t be afraid.
Be wise. Choose God’s way –
Choose excellence.
My prayers are with you.

Here are some verses that were really good in Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris and also some interesting points and quotes he made.

Timothy 2:22

“Helping to guard their purity doesn’t mean avoiding them.” – talking about guys helping girls keep pure.

“And finally, we can pray for our sisters. Do you ever pray that God would help the women you know to find their satisfaction in Him? Take the time to pray that God would help them love holiness and avoid the wrong visions of femininity the world constantly offers them. Pray that God would help them to be virtuous, not seductive. Your prayers and friendship will accomplish more than you can imagine.”

Hebrews 13:4
John 3:16
I Peter 3:18
Deuteronomy 6:5
Jeremiah 17:9
2 Peter 2:19
I Thess. 4:3-6
Romans 6: 12-14
Ecclesiastes 5:1-7
Hebrews 4:15
2 Corinthians 5:21
I Corinthians 7:9

“whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures you sense of God, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself.”

“..if it takes the edge off your spiritual hunger, then its sin.”

I Thessalonians 5:21-22
Ephesians 5:11
Psalm 101: 2-4

“Our enemy goes after people who have isolated themselves from other Christians.”

Ephesians 4:29

“We need other Christians to speak, sing, and sometimes shout the truths of God’s Word to us. We need others to pray for us when we’re in the midst of temptation. We need friends who will hold on to us when we’re ready to give up. We need friends who will challenge and even rebuke us when we’re indulging in sin.”

Ephesians 1:23

“An accountability relationship is one in which a Christian gives permission to another believer to look into his life for purposes of questioning, challenging, admonishing, advising, encouraging and otherwise providing input in ways that will help the individual live according to the Christian principles that they both hold.”

Peter 5:5
Hebrews10:24-25

Why I live...

2005-05-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Will Lupers away message and thought it was absolutely amazing....i don't know if he wrote it or not, but it is wonderful....

The same eyes that watched the newborn sun rise into the first morning sky look piercingly into the deepest parts of my soul to see the darkest of all secrets, the worst shames, the highest hopes, the most silent shouts.

The same lips that spoke the cosmos into existence whisper love songs to my heart.

The same hands that will one day welcome me into eternity were also the same hands that were pierced with nails, willingly substituting them for my own.

THAT my friends... is why I live.

Almost there...

2005-05-07T20:33:00.000-07:00

We are almost done with school and things are winding down and starting up all at the same time. I really want to make use of the time I will have here at home. Just sit back and catch up on breathing, writing, and start some new hobbies. I was sitting on my bed earlier today and I was thinking about how different its going to be without my girl friends and helping them get through all the boy promblems and stuff. Its going to be really weird, because my sisters don't have boy problems, maybe its time for a different arena! Well anyway, I should be studying right now, but unstead I am writing out some of the things I had in my devotions today!

I was reading in the book He that is Spiritual: "Because the "infection" of sin is always in us, we need every moment "the conquering counteration of the Spirit."

"Spirituality hinders sin, but should never hinder the friendship and confidence of sinners (Luke 15:1). Who can see the failures of others more than the one who has spiritual vision? And because of this fact, who needs more the divine power to keep from becoming critical, with all that follows with it?

"If our kind of spirituality makes Christ unattractive to others, it needs some drastic changes."

"It will not do to impersonate ideals or to imitate others. Just here is the great danger in analyzing experiences. Some are so easily induced to try to imitate someone else."

" We are never wonderful saints of whom God may justly be proud: we are His little children, immature and filled with foolishness, with whom He is endlessly patient and on whom He has been pleased to set all His infinite heart of love. He is wonderful. We are not."

" He came not to reveal Himself but to make Christ real to the heart, and through the heart, of man."

------------------------------Lewis Sperry Chaffer

Why Are We Not Told Plainly? -----My Utmost for His Highest

"He charged them that they would tell no man what things they had seen, till the Son of man were risen from the dead." Mark 9:9

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary."
Galations 6:9

I cor. 15:58 and I Peter 5:8, 10----both every encouraging!

Romans 8: 35

What I have decided.....

2005-05-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been wrestling with the desicion what to write here on this blog. First I thought my thoughts about the day or what I got out of my devotions but then I wasn't doing anything because my devotions were either too personal or would get misinterpreted. So, I was just reading in my devos and I came to the conclusion that my devotions are my intimate times with GOd and I don't need to write what I got out of them, BUT, I can write what I read! Because in and of itself its good again for me to re-write them out because I love meditating on what I have learned. Sooooo....yeah....I will probably write later in this tonight because I loved what I read in my Extream Devotion book and Five minutes with God devotional....

discouraging

2005-04-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

I am so ready to go back home!! It gets so dry here and fake! Its difficult when you challenge a so-called christian with simply a Bible verse and all they can do is call you self-righteous and a show off. I'm really sorry that I tried to challenge you, I saw it coming though I really did. I didn't feel right not sharing a verse that I just happened to read right after reading what I did. I felt that God wanted me to post that and I did, and if I am being discussed about because of it thats fine. THere is no other name than I would proudly carry than a Jesus Freak! I hear about all these different things being said and frankly it doesn't bother me that much 1. because i'm used to it, someone once said that about me before and 2. My reliance is upon God, or at least I try my best to make it that way. I will continue to write about God and all that He has done in my life. I will make myself vunerable for His glory and His kingdom. He is the One that i serve and I will serve Him despite those who try to divert me!

"Dear Lord, guide me, calm my spirit and make my passion only for You and not to turn into anger. Those who are not close to You draw them near to Your loving soul. For those who think they have it all together humble them to Your being, for those who are completly lost let them seek until they finally find You. And Lord for those who suffer for Your name give them peace...I love you Lord..."

observation

2005-04-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

I am writing this on behalf of of many comments I have been reading and xanga posts and I am greatly disturbed by what I read. I feel the sense of pride and opinion-only remarks and entries, which I guess is the reason why many people use these things. I am greatly disappointed in quite a few people right now, no one I am really close too, but just seeing the true character of a few. It saddens me as the school year is coming to a close how so many students here are still caught up in the popular mentality. I just want to get up in there face sometime and be like "get a life! A one that is worth living for! Live for God and Him alone!" Yet I know that is not the right way to go around with something. I am only writing this on here because this is like my safe haven, where people don't really bother to read because nobody else really does see it. Only for those eyes that really care what I have to say about something. With this blog i never get a comment and I like it that way, I don't want to know who reads this, I just want somebody to get something out of it. I find Xanga for fun, this for seriousness.
But yes, anyway, i am troubled by what I have read, such harshness and pride, and so many little followers behind. Yet I guess thats the way it is, and I will do no such thing to discourage it. Yet if it happens again i think i might just make a very extra special xanga post to refute and give someone a piece of humble pie.

The things that trouble me:
1. Opinion-only based judgement
2. Butt-kissing comments
3. People followers instead of God followers
4. Discrimination against those who truly love God
5. Popularity mentality amongst college students

break

2005-04-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am posting this now not because it was part of the India trip but in explanation why i haven't written in such a long time. I have come to realize a lot of things these days as the school year is drawing closer to an end. I have found that my focus on the Lord has not been where it needs to be. I have been distracted by way too many things in life recently. I must remember my main goal and I must work towards my dreams. So many times people just settle for less but I know that God has something planned for me and that He wants to use me. Recently in the last month I feel like I have not allowed God to use me the way that He wants too and to the extent that He wants to. So I now know some of the things that I need to do, cut off anything that could be hindering me from abiding in Him and drawing closer to Him. Everything that I do I want to be for Him and no one else, including myself. I have been challenged greatly by pastors and the Word and now I must act upon it and not allow myself to become distracted by the people around me....

"Lord I want to be all for You and You alone, no One can take Your place and I want to serve You by serving others.....and not myself....give me strength dear Lord...."

Third day......first half....

2005-04-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

3-12-05 12am

Things are going well.... I will write later. (I think people started talking to me.)

6am

We're now settled into our rooms, each team has slit up and we're going to rest for a few hours. To my surprise I'm in the 10 people team and we're going to South India and will be trying to help the most- affected land regions. I didn't think i was going to be on this team because I wasn't a guy. The good thing here is that everybody who kinda formed a clique has been removed from their group. I like the people who are in my group now.
This is such a different and amazing place...Everything is different here, I'm trying to soak everything up. We drove about an hour to our hotel and the driving is crazy! The people honk loudly each time they pass somebody so everybody is honking. There are so many beggers and children in tattered clothing all over the streets. They stare at you so long and hard that you have to turn your eyes. The eyes of the India children are so large and glassy, I've always seen them on tv but never up close. Also today, there was a young girl, about 2 or 3 dressed in what looked like a wedding dress, a small one, sprolled out on her stomach by an airport. Her father stood by. Our guide informed us that the believers here in India said that when the Bible said that Satan fell out of heaven he landed in India. He told us that tomorrow we will see what he meant. Yet, he added, he always noticed a certain joy that these people have. I wonder what joy they must have?
Now that I'm here in this country and I have so much to observe, I have little time to care about the others around me and what they say and do. I had a nice conversation with Hannah in the car ride and Jess seems to quiet. I pray now that God will break all of our hearts so that we can be used by Christ.
Another thing I forgot to add about this trip is that the India people worship cows, and the cows are free to roam the cities, and if a car hits one of the cows, they could be tracked down and killed for such an act. There are three major religions, Muslim, Hinu, and shinti i believe. I can't remember what each one represents though but each is greeted in different ways.

What I have learned: Keep your focus on people who don't affect you in any way. That is keeping yourself self-less. My mind and thoughts are on the people of India....

I Thess. 3:13 - I want to live holy and blameless, completely out of darkness. Every realm of self I want to be out of. Take me away from all that is selfish within me.

3-12-05 7:30am

Wow, this is really embarressing. I guess everyone is dressing really normal. I feel like a total idiot. Its ok though, I'm dressing like the people from here anyway. I will be working a lot though, i should have brought some more work shirts.

" Lord help me because I am becoming frustrated..."

There is a lot more that i wrote this day! Yet this is enough i think for now! It amazes me how much i remember seeing but with no words can i express what I felt. I think i was sort of in deniel when i first wrote it, and in great un-understanding if I can use that word. There were so many distractions that I had already in the first beginning of the trip, and thats why I say that I learned more after the trip because I was able to have the time to reflect on all that I saw and the little I was able to experience.....

Second day of the trip....

2005-04-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

3-11-05

"Are you open to change? People who make a difference can be stretched, pulled, pushed, and changed. You heard it from me; Traditionalism is an old dragon, bad about squeezing the very life out of its victims. So never stop fighting it."
Charles Swindell

We were still flying when I wrote this, or at least on the plane. I slept most of the trip up there but I guess I woke up to write this in my journal. I took along with me Charles Swindells book "dear graduate: letters of wisdom" It has nice little encourageing and convicting quotes inside of it. This reminding me of BJU, there are two of my friends who i believe who are fighting it but many others on that campus who struggle with it. I really wish the two school could get along with each other. Well, I guess I really don't have much to say about this day, just that I didn't know a lot of people so itstead of socializing I was sleeping instead!

First day of the trip....

2005-03-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

This is the first day of the trip and we're all just sittin around waiting for our first plane trip. Excitement and anticipation hangs in the air as people are trying to get to know each other. The group to my right are talking about engagement and the one to my left are talking about leadership positions. There are a few people who are taking notes in their journal. First impressions are forming. Some people are well-rounded and some could take some lessons from others. There aren't just certain groups of people which is gret. I have to keep my focus though, not with guys, but being envious of the people who have got such a godly manner. I will look to them as role models and learn from them......

I think this was an interesting entry....I didn't know anyone on the trip and a lot of people seemed like they either knew each other already or are quickly making friends. It was a good environment for me to be in because I'm used to knowing so many people and now here I was being in a situation where i knew no one. I was invisible in the begining. You can ask anyone of them, my team will tell you! Its really funny I think. Anyway, this still makes me laugh!

give Him praise

2005-02-22T12:11:00.000-08:00

You know, my God is so good. I am just realizing that as I prepare for India, He really has blessed me beyond belief. I keep asking of Him and others, telling everyone, "pray for me, pray for me." Yet now I just want to praise Him. He is so good. I have such a busy week this week, but I want to make sure that I try harder to keep Him first. First before school, friends and family. That when I get out of classes that I talk to Him first before I call home, or I read in His word before karyn comes over, or I have a devotion before I do my hw.
Anyway, that is all I have to say, just give Him praise today. He is worthy of it.

correction

2005-02-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

The other day when i had posted the last entry, Saten was attacking me in the way that he best knows. My weakness and my strength is the people around me. I found myself recently making posts and entries for the sole purpose of other reasons rather than my dedication to Him. I had to take a break from it so that I could re-focus myself and learn how to better battle the war that was inside me. Yet now I need to clear up what I had writtin. I know we all go through immense selfish times where we get to the point where I was the other day. Yet that was all selfishiness. Where all I had cared at that point was who my friends were and how they had hurt me. That isn't the point though, I was so incrediably self-absorbed that I didn't realize how that could affect other people.
So this is kinda like my apologies even though i don't think anybody read what I wrote. Yet nonetheless, I wanted to correct that. I want my sole purpose not to be on people but the work for Christ which is through people but not for them. It is mission empahisis week and we have had one sermon that greatly affected me in ways that I am unable to explain. It was eye-opening for me that i really knew I needed to take the rest of my time in the prayer room or in my own room not to write on this blog but take that time with the Lord to get back to where i was confident in Him. I want to serve Him at the best of my ability that He gives me. I want to completely be wrapped up in what He wants me to do for Him and Him alone. I don't want to be distracted by the things of this world, and that includes people. I know people right now that i look at and admire because they are so incrediablly focused on God to the point where I think they have lost popularity, recognition, and friends. I want to get to that point where anything in my life that would keep me farther from Christ I would eliminate. That if someone doesn't build me up in Him I will not focus on them. Anything that will shift me from the Lord is Saten's doing. I will not let him win, Christ will have full victory.

When nobody cares

2005-02-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

I am so alone right now....no one is here for me at all....I have lost people who I thought were my friends and they really could care less. The pain from that kills me...I have not gotton to this point in such a long time. I can't really explain it all. I don't know why God is allowing this to happen, for everyone to not just care....to leave me. I have always been there for others and I am asking this one time for them to be there for me and they just don't care. Why do people do this? Why do they act so selfish? So prideful? I get so fed up with trying, and I have tried and tried and they just don't care. I don't understand this at all, actually....I do, God wants me to get closer to Him and not rely so much on people. Yet it is so hard....when people hate you....or talk bad about you.
Different devotions and sermons are all coming to mind but there are just those times when Saten is attacking you. I prayed the other day that God will have me suffer for Him and I think it is happening. I was afraid to pray that prayer for what it entails. Yet I wanted to get closer to God, I wanted to draw near to Him. Many people wouldn't consider suffering just physical but I think that Saten tries to get to me through people because that is my stregth and weakness at the same time. I hate it when people don't like me or are upset with me. I can't stand it either when they talk behind my back and don't communicate to me what is on there mind. Anyway, my venting is over.....

Are you Exhausted Spiritually?

2005-02-13T12:52:00.000-08:00

“Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faithteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of His understanding.” Isaiah 40: 28

Exhaustion means that the vital forces are worn right out. Spiritual exhaustion never comes through sin but only through service, and whether or not you are exhausted will depend upon where you get your supplies. Jesus said to Peter- “feed my sheep,” but He gave him nothing to feed them with. The process of being made broken bread and poured-out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you to the dregs. Be careful that you get your supply, or before long you will be utterly exhausted. Before other souls learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus direct, they have to draw on it through you; you have to be literally “sucked,” until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and His sheep as well as for Himself.
Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion? If so, then rally your affections. Where did you start the service from? From your own sympathy or from the basis of the Redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually go back to the foundation of your affections and recollect where the source of power is. He saved and sanctified you in order to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him. “All my fresh springs shall be in Thee.”

This was amazing for me to read because it was something that I and a few of my friends and family have been going through. When it says in Isaiah that “his understanding has no limits” it’s so true. We get so upset sometimes when someone we are really close to doesn’t understand, but God ALWAYS understands how we are feeling at times. He is always there to be the shoulder to cry on as well as to encourage and admonish you. Because of Him we will not become weary. I was thinking about this and I realized why last semester was so hard for me, and it was because I was spiritually exhausted by all the things that weren’t just going on in my life but others lives as well that was draining me. One of the main reasons I got so drained was because I stopped going to the church services and reading consistency in my Bible. I needed to have that nourishment, I needed that kind of food to help me keep strong through all the things and people that were “sucking” me dry. Yet this semester things are so much better because I have more time with the Lord in the morning and twice a week in the prayer room and I try to go to all the services as well. The Lord knows that I am that type of person that needs the constant feeding or else I fall back.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am here to serve Christ and Him alone. He is the One that I serve for, and whatever I give everyone else, is not coming from me but from God. I want to keep remembering that He is the one that I do all for. And He is the One that gives me all my strength, and guidance. I want to be exhausted for Him and have Him replenish my thirsty soul when He is finished working through me.

When people discourage you

2005-02-11T17:48:00.000-08:00

Philippians 2:1-30

“Fulfill ye may my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each other esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 2:1-5

I first started reading this verse and I think it is appropriate to put first in this entry. “For I have no man like-minded, who will naturally care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.” I got so discouraged reading this because it’s so true with everyone. We always seek our own. And when He says “all” he means all. That includes me and everyone around me. That when I think I’m finally doing something right, I’m not. And only God working in me can keep me from being selfish.
The first thought that came to my mind is how horrible our world is now, Christians and non-Christians. Where non- Christians are shooting each other, taking drugs and dispersing them, drinking and sleeping around with others. Then you get the actual Christians who talk about each other behind each others backs, trying their best to make themselves look better. They treat each other with a hostility that is totally opposite from what God has intended. In many cases we as Christians are no better off than the un-Christian realm.
This was my first thought when I read that verse, and now as I am writing I find my thoughts going deeper. In vs. 30 it says “because for the work of Christ he was nigh unto death, not regarding his life, to supply your lack of service toward me.” This made me start thinking that it is me who is being selfish and me who regards my own life, it’s me who lacks service to the Lord. I look to others so often and say “they aren’t serving, they aren’t giving” and so fourth. And when someone treats me bad I find myself distancing myself from that person physically when really I need to draw them to myself and surround them with the Christ-like love that I am supposed to serve with. That my service to the Lord is not to look at people and point out their sins that God already knows, but to love them with a love that no human being can accomplish without the Lord.
Another thing I just wanted to add is that when people are talking behind your back or treating you in a negative way, it may ruin your reputation, it may make you look bad and that specific person look cool or whatever. Yet what they have done to you, and your response to that person is what is recorded by Christ. Here on earth and what is cool or popular doesn’t matter but in heaven consequences will be there. Many Christians will be without crowns, don’t be one of them….

2:15
Another good verse is this one “That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.” We are dealing with a crooked and perverse people, and many times we are crooked and perverse people as well. Yet we are to be set apart from them, standing alone, even when others are not with us…..

2:7-8
We are to humble ourselves and say that they are better than us…

2:1-5

This is the hardest thing to do. To be able to have joy after someone blows you off because they don’t agree with you or they don’t think your cool enough. It is so hard to have to love those yet who gossip behind your back. Its hard to see another persons point of view when you think they’re wrong. Yet his is what God calls us to do, and to do it humbly. To look at a person you are a victim to and be able to look at them and think “you are better than me, I look at you and think higher of you, than I do myself” That is exactly what Jesus is telling us to do, yet it is the most difficult thing to do.
I honestly can’t tell you if I am able to do that, in fact, I know it is something that I cannot do. Yet through God I am able, with His power I qualified, with His love and grace I am equipped. Now is the time to get this right with God, I am but will you? You are in my prayers.

Note: Read My Utmost for His Highest on Feb. 9th, it really encouraged me and hopefully you. Also read Isaiah 40:28-31

Me, you, and your enemy

2005-02-06T11:44:00.000-08:00

Me, you, and your enemy

Philippians 1:25 “And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with all for your furtherance and joy of faith.”

“Having this confidence” – Having the assurance of Christ’s love for all. His love for me, you, and your enemy. That though all have persecuted Him, we can have that assurance. Me, you, and your enemy have persecuted Jesus Christ. And each time we directly disobey God, its persecution towards Jesus Christ. Its saying by Jesus dying on the cross and paying His life for our sins isn’t good enough. We need to have the assurance and confidence that Jesus Christ died not only for our sins, but for mine, yours, and your enemy’s.

“Shall abide and continue with you.” Stop and think for a moment about what the word abide means. It means closer than close, more intimate than intimate. Inseparable…unbreakable…that whatever comes to mind, whatever persecution, whatever trial comes to play, you will be there and He will be there. Think now of the worst thing that someone ever said to you or the worst thing that someone ever did to you. Do you have that picture in your head? Are all the nasty words and evil looks coming into your mind? Are all the actions being remembered?

Now think about this…
Christ’s love. There is a period after that two-word sentence for a reason. A period means stop, discontinue, no more. There should be no more words after that. Christ’s love…
Christ’s love…

His undying, unwavering, and consistent love for us is so amazing. That no matter what we do or say to Him He is so consistent with us. He wraps His loving arms around us for every ill word spoken to us. He draws us close to His chest when someone blows us off or rolls their eyes at you. He comforts us in our time of need and loves us with a love that we can never express back to Him.
Now what I was attempting to do was to change your thinking. To go from anger, resentment, bitterness, and contempt to peace, assurance, comfort, love, and joy. When we can have that confidence of Christ’s love for us we are able to abide in Him. That though there will be distractions, there will be conflicts and trials; we can rest in the assurance of His love for us. That we will “continue with Him.”

“furthermore and joy of faith” – We have seen so far to have the assurance of Christ’s love, how we are to abide and now this all leads to the “furthermore and joy of faith.” That whatever you are doing that is good unto God’s eyes is a way to further the love of Christ. You are showing yourself, me and your enemy’s that you will not let them tear you down. That you will have Christ-like love, joy and faith, and I don’t mean to show them as if you are trying to get them back but because of your love for Christ you will show love. “A kind word turns away wrath and seeps burning goals on the enemy’s head” (paraphrased) We may not see someone feeling guilty or ashamed for what they did, but God sees. Think about that for a moment.
God sees….
God sees …. What else matters? It doesn’t matter who notices what and who thinks whatever. God sees all that is going on and He will give just punishment to those who deserve it. And that doesn’t mean just what people are doing to you, but what are you doing and saying about other people in response? So think now about whatever situation you are in and ask yourself this question. What is the best way for me to further my love and joy of Christ?

Here are some more verses that I read as well this morning that can encourage you...

"Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ; that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel." I Phillipians 1:27

"For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for His sake" I Phillipians 1:29

" Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James 1:3-4

But It Is Hardly Credible That One Could Be So Positively Ignorant

2005-01-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

But It Is Hardly Credible That One Could Be So Positively Ignorant
Acts 26:15 “And I said, who art thou, Lord? And he said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest.”

The Lord spake thus to me with a strong hand.” There is no escape when Our Lord speaks, He always comes with an arrestment of the understanding. Has the voice of God come to you directly? If it has, you cannot mistake the intimate insistence with which it has spoken to you in the language you know best, not through your ears, but through your circumstances.
God has to destroy our determined confidence in our own convictions. “I know this is what I should do” – and suddenly the voice of God speaks in a way that overwhelms us by revealing the depths of our ignorance. We have shown our ignorance of Him in the very way we determined to serve Him. We serve Jesus in a spirit that is not His, we hurt Him by our advocacy for Him, we push His claims in the spirit of the devil. Our words sound all right, but our spirit is that of an enemy. “He rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of the spirit ye are of.” The spirit of our Lord in an advocate of His is described in 1 Corinthians 13.
Have I been persecuting Jesus by a zealous determination to serve Him in my own way? If I feel I have done my duty and yet have hurt Him in doing it, I may be sure it was not my duty, because it has not fostered the meek and quiet spirit, but the spirit of self-satisfaction. We imagine that whatever is unpleasant is our duty! Is that anything like the spirit of our Lord, “I delight to do they will, O My God.”

This was a wonderful devotion I had this morning and I am trying to apply it so much right now! Isn't it funny how when you get these wonderful revelations but then Satan attacks so hard and you have to always keep yourself in tact. Like right now I am dealing with people who are always disagreeing with me even on things that are totally small. Its like people decide to crash down on my own convictions as if they are not worth having at all. I have a hard time with people like that, I don't mind people voicing their opinions as long as they don't trash down mine. Yet I am keeping a cool head, and I am not pushing anything on anyone. I will let their hearts be pricked.
All I want right now is to not talk to anyone, I love them all but when things get uneasy then I want all God. He is the only one that will guide against persucution and selfish additudes. Blessed be His name, I love His guidance and I can't wait until tomorrow's message. Reading in Jonnie Moores blog today made me also realize that I must keep my focus even more. To not let people get to me, to not allow anger and hatred to rise in me. I will be in much prayer this week and I want to keep this focus more than anything.
"Dear Lord, guide me on the path of calmness, gentleness, and meekness. Dear Lord You are my God, and You are my One desire. Keep the evils of this world and the temptations in it as far away as You can. I want to keep you as my desire and focus.
Thank You dear Lord for Elizabeth, her sweet temperament and love for You and desire to keep herself pure amazes me. THank you Lord for allowing me to help work in her life and be there for her as good counsel and a person to hug her. Thank You Lord for what she has done in my life. Her honesty and loving kindness and her focus on Your truth helps me with my walk as well. Thank You dear Lord, pertect her heart."

What Makes Jesus Christ a High Priest?

2005-01-27T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody! I just got out of a wonderful Wednesday night service, Rob Jackson preached tonight and it was a real eye-opener. I went into the service knowing that I needed to get something right with the Lord but I couldn’t put my finger on it right then. I kept praying and praying but I felt such a blocked wall and I didn’t know how it got there at all. I have been doing all these things, like reading my Bible and saying small prayers, joining a prayer ministry, volunteering for other things. But I felt as I tried to do more for God the less I felt near to Him. I was trying so hard but Satan was trying His hardest as well. Its amazing to me what a whole room of hundreds of students can do to defeat Satan. Where to or more gather in His name, God is there. I saw so many people tonight who were worshiping with all their hearts, and I saw some who were just there for the extra credit for their classes. All I can say was that the worship was so de-stressing and so encouraging. I was able to be with people who love the Lord with all there heart and who desire Him more than anything in the world and who are trying their best to keep that focus.
I must say that I normally wouldn’t send this to anyone, I would have just posted it on my blog for nobody else to see but me. But I really feel like God wants me to share this for a few people. This is my heart and this is me sharing it with you all. I love you all like my brothers and sisters in Christ. You can take this whichever way that you want to, but I can pray that you will heed what has been laid on my heart tonight and the desire I want for you all is to maybe get a little what I got out of the sermon. So please take some time to listen to what the preacher has shared tonight, this isn’t coming from me, Danielle Sarchet, but God used this man tonight to help me, and maybe it can be an eye-opener for some of you. So please just take a few minutes to take some time right now to spend it with God.

Before the sermon tonight we were singing this one song that I can’t remember the name too, but one of the lines was, “Lord I am waiting on you.” And as soon as I heard that I looked around and saw so many people singing the song but I wondered how many of them really meant it? Were they just singing the words or were they really waiting on the Lord? I could honestly say that I haven’t been waiting on the Lord. I had to think about those words when they were up for all of us to mouth.
……..waiting on the Lord……what does that mean?
I have not been giving up everything to Him like I was singing but I so wanted to. Its like I have such a strong desire but not a strong enough will to pull through the daily trials we face every single day. Was I waiting on the Lord? How was I and how can I prove that I am?

The title of tonights message was “What makes Jesus a High Priest?” The scripture that was given tonight was Hebrews 4:12-16 where it says: “12 For the word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than a two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 Neither is there creature that is not manifest in his site: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. 14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. 15 For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

He is great because of His position – Psalm 138:6 where it says “Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.” This is saying that though God is so high, He is so perfect and He has done nothing wrong, all He has done is love us, He still has respect for the lowly. The lowly who are humble, the lowly who are not seen by other, the lowly that other people look down upon. Yet God cannot stand the proud. He hates sin, God Himself cannot know someone who is prideful, they first must come to God and acknowledge Him as almighty and themselves nothing but dirt.
He is great because of where He is
i. He has passed into heaven – God is in heaven, He is there waiting for us to get there. I can’t help but wonder, when we do get there, will we be ready to face God? Will we be ready to face the One who created us and the One we have ignored this entire time of our lives? Can we honestly search our hearts and say that we are right within the Lord?
We are in the loving hands of our Father, why do we seek love and affection from so many other places? Why do we seek all these different people, and seek after approval when we have the choice to have it all with God? He is all we need, but why can’t we accept that?
ii. He is great because of who He is – this may sound stupid to some at first, but think about that for who moment: God is God….

God is God…..

That is an amazing statement…..

He is great because of His perfection – We have not a high priest who isn’t affected by our feelings. God feels every one of our pains and He hurts along with us. He feels our sorrows and is there for us. Jesus Christ endured every single temptation there was imaginable. I’m not talking about like drugs or anything like that but God was faced with the things that He could be tempted the most from. Yet Jesus arose victorious over sin and Satan because of His love for us. To me that is so amazing! Think about it….all the temptation we endure and have fallen for…then we feel guilty…..God endured continuous temptation and He didn’t fall to it because of His love for us……his love for us…..He suffered for us. Hebrews 4:15 Jesus suffers more than I do when I hurt. He knows me when I don’t know myself.

Hew. 4:16 “Let us come boldly to the throne of God…” We have nothing to lose if we go to Him. We have everything to lose if we go to anyone but to Him.
Jesus Christ is our Great High Priest because of His position.
Rob Jackson reminded us of the song called: Lets have a little talk with Jesus. That though its not very deep, its very crucial to every Christian that we take everything to God. Parents, friends, strangers, enemies, interests, lovers…..take it all to Him.
Provides mercy for our past – this to me is still always amazing, that He provides such mercy and compassion for me and everyone else who goes through hard times and trials. Our mouths are silenced because of our guilt. This right here is the statement that has caused me to feel so down, feeling about me feeling so inadequate, so completely feeling worthless.
Titus 3:5 – not according to our works but our mercy. This one hit me very hard. It struck me very hard because I have been dealing with people who try all the works and do all the right things but then they have no mercy to back it up. And without that mercy, there is nothing….nothing at all.
Past failures in my life? God gives mercy…..

Provides grace for my present needs
Here are some verses for these. “Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” II Tim. 2:1

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Cor. 12:14

God provides mercy and grace right in the nick of time for us. I love it when just when we think that we are going down, that there is no hope He gives us hope. God gives us mercy and grace at all times but whether or not we choose to receive it is totally up to us.
The Lord faced the whole area of temptation and was victorious in overcoming it. Yet He was victorious because He was doing it for us, so we in turn, as we face temptation can rise above it for our Lord Jesus Christ.

Another thing that Rob said was that instead of saying we sinned, we make excuses. This statement is so true! Why do we choose to try to cover up and lie right to God when he knows everything! Excuses don’t get us anywhere to do anything. They just make us defensive of all that we say and make us look like total idiots. He goes on to say that we act like God doesn’t know that we sinned. Another powerful statement he said was that you can’t lose your salvation but you sure can blow your testimony. I think back at all the times when I know people looked at me and it would never cross their mind that I was a Christian. Many a time I have fallen but by God’s grace and His work through the admonishment of others, I Have come to know the refuge of His everlasting arms of loving kindness. One moment of sin is not worth it, and I have come to find that out the hard way. I have wasted a big part of my life I will never be able to get back again, and I will be haunted by mistakes that I have made for the rest of my life. Yet my God is so good! He will help me through the difficult times and He will be my refuge as long as I choose to stay by His side.

Lord God……Search my heart……I want to be clean

2005-01-25T13:22:00.000-08:00

“But rise, and stand upon they feet: for I have appeared unto thee for this purpose, to make thee a minister and a witness both of these things which thou hast seen, and of those things in the which I will appear unto thee” Acts 26:16

The vision Paul had on the road to Damascus was no passing emotion, but a vision that had very clear and emphatic directions for him, and he says, “I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.” Our Lord said, in effect, to Paul – Your whole life is to be overmastered by Me; you are to have no end, no aim, and no purpose but Mine. “I have chosen him.”
When we are born again we all have vision, if we are spiritual at all, of what Jesus wants us to be, and the great thing is to learn not to be disobedient to the vision, not to say that it cannot be attained. It is not sufficient to know that God has redeemed the world, and to know that the Holy Spirit can make all that Jesus did effectual in me; I must have the basis of a personal relationship to Him. Paul was not given a message or a doctrine to proclaim, he was brought into a vivid, personal overmastering relationship to Jesus Christ. Verse 16 is immensely commanding, “to make thee a minister and a witness.” There is nothing there apart from the personal relationship. Paul was devoted to a Person not to a cause. He was absolutely Jesus Christ’s, he saw nothing else, he lived for nothing else. “For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.”

I so want this for my life, to be solely focused on Jesus Christ and no other. So many times I get bogged down in people and forget about God. I focus on what people are doing, how they are being treated, why they act the way they do, how they act towards me. All that doesn’t matter at all though, none of it does. Just , with because we know the world and get along with everyone we come across doesn’t mean that we should lose site of Jesus. We have to keep reminding ourselves: why do we act this way? Why are we so stupid?
This poem I am about to post below is what I read in my adolescent Psychology book. It makes me realize how far down our teens have gone. Yet we can be a shining light until them:

Land of Diminished Dreams

The year is two-thousand fifty-four,
The world is full of curses.
People walk the streets no more,
No women carry purses

The name of the game is survival now-
Safety is far in the past.
Families are huge, with tons of kids
In hopes that one will last.

Drugs are no longer looked down on,
They are a way of life.
They help us escape the wrenching stress
Of our fast world’s endless strife…

I wake up now – it was only a dream,
But the message was terribly clear.
We’d better think hard about the future
Before our goals and our dreams disappear.
- Jessica Inglis, Age 16

These are the teens that I want to work with….Lord help them see your glory!

When something good turns bad

2005-01-25T13:06:00.000-08:00

I am incrediably discouraged right now. I first thought that what I was thinking and feeling was ok but now I realized that what I am feeling is so impossible and so childish that I find myself very upset with myself.
Can I ask this? Is it possible to love someone when you haven't even met them? Is it possible to and ok to admire someone so much? No, it isn't. I find out today that I need to re-focus myself and why I am here. I did not come here to drool over some person that doesn't even know that I exist let alone would even give me the time of the day. Who am I living for? I am living for the one true God that will love me with the best love that can never be explained.
I knew I needed to write about this, it bothers me so much... I can admire the way God is working though individual people, but they are not my God. I feel so inadaquate when it comes to seeing other people and all that they are doing for the Lord. I have done really nothing with my life. I haven't seen or experienced what most other people have experienced. I did get good grades, I wasn't popular, I don't have any cool skills. But I have a passion. Sometimes this passion can be a little out of control sometimes when its not in the right place, but I am on fire for God and what He desires for my life. I am a people lover trying to be a God-lover.
*sigh* I know that God has HIs best for me, and I can't make things that happen that would be good, but not the best. Everything will come in God's time, all I need to do is completely focus on Him and what He wants me to do with the gifts He has given me. I want to serve not for people but for the Lord. Because if my focus is on people then that love for them will edventually leave me because of my fallen nature. But if I love people because I first love God then my priority is correct.

Wonderfully Stressed

2005-01-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

I know this is crazy but already in the beginning of this semester I feel myself getting bogged down with a ton of stuff! Everything is starting to weigh down on me and I see myself getting stretched thinner and thinner. But my God is so good! I can honestly say I am wonderfully stressed out. I had great devotions this morning and most of the day I was able to keep my focus at trying to practice them. At the end of this day I found it difficult to do that though. I found myself very upset over certain people and I found myself getting very dissapointed in others. I can't do things for others though and what I think they should do. Thankfully I was able to keep my cool though and my lips sealed. Somehting that I have been learning to do quite a lot!
I was about to open up my textbook Lectures in Systematic Theology when I realized that i needed to read over 60 pages plus a chapter in my personality of psychology book as well. So I decided to blow off some steam and write a little post about my day. Hopefully tomorrow I can write out my devotion! So I guess I must be off! I have to go and read all that I need to read! Yet I am wonderfully stressed, I got a lot accomplished today!

Transformed by Insight

2005-01-23T18:59:00.000-08:00

"We all, with open face beholding as in a glass glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image."
2 Corinthians 3:18

The outstanding charateristic of a Christian is this unveiled frankness before God so that the life becomes a mirror for our lives. By being filled with the Spirit we are transformed, and by beholding we become mirrors. You always know when a man has been beholding the glory of the Lord; you feel in your inner spirit that he is the mirror of the Lord's own character. Beware of anything which would sully that mirror in you; it is nearly always a good thing, the good that is not the best.
The golden rule for your life and mine is this concentrated keeping of the life open towards God. Let everything else - work, clothes, food, everything on earth - go by the board, saving that one thing. THe rush of the other things always tends to obscure this concentration on God. We have to maintain ourselves in the place of beholding, keeping the life absolutely spiritual all through. Let other things come and go as they may, let other people criticize as they will, but never allow anything to obscure the life that is hid with Christ in God. Never be hurried out of the relationship of abiding in Him. It is the one thing that is apt to fluctuate but ought not to. The severest discipline of a Christian's life is to learn how to keep "beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord."

A New Start

2005-01-23T14:05:00.000-08:00

This semester will be interesting...I am starting this blog and this time some people will have access to it! That is if I will write them here! This is a big step for me cause its the real me. All my loves and hates will be here. All my hopes, all my dreams will be written down.

Decreased by Him

Hello from Jinji South Korea!!

Running, Far, Far, Away

Unsure...

Lessons being Learned...

Busy Times

Romans 13:11-14

Faith

God is in Control

Praise be to God!

Open and Close

I prayed hard for you

Emotionally Drained

The Battle

Heartbreak

Comfort for Confusion

WE MADE OUR GOAL!

Me, Me, and Me

Expectations

December

Samaritan's Purse

The Wait Poem

prayer

I cry out

My Desire....My Prayers....

Psalm 23 and my prayer

screaming inside

A New Start

Random thoughts...

Extream Return

Fireworks

To Be Like a Child

Searching for the Proverbs 31 Man

Foolish

Shine for Jesus

Extream Willingness: Philippines: A young girl

Prayer to Make my Own---and quotes

Thankful!

Extream pain: Sudan

Lies and truths

Aide for Discouragement Rom. 12:1

Excellence...

Why I live...

Almost there...

What I have decided.....

discouraging

observation

*break*

Third day......first half....

Second day of the trip....

First day of the trip....

give Him praise

correction

When nobody cares

Are you Exhausted Spiritually?

When people discourage you

Me, you, and your enemy

But It Is Hardly Credible That One Could Be So Positively Ignorant

What Makes Jesus Christ a High Priest?

When something good turns bad

Wonderfully Stressed

Transformed by Insight

A New Start

break