December

I have a lot to pray about this month.....its going to be a good time of reflection and desition making. I realize that I tend to use way too many words and don't leave enough just for thought and reflection. This month I might try just not saying as much and just make people wonder "what is going on in her head?" Maybe it will even cause people to ask....

All I know is that I want to do my best for the Lord, I want to serve Him with all my might and I want to serve with other people who make that effert as well. My heart is open to many things, I have a lot running through my head. Mainly to be patient and wait on Him for the answers to the many questions that are are swimming around in my head. I think too many people think its easy....easy to make expectations and keep them....well i can tell them thats its really difficult.....It is hard to have expectations, then wonder if their supposed to be there, or wonder when to give up....or to realize that a pattern is forming.....

I want my eyes to be open, open to what the Lord has for me, what He has for me to give right back to Him. I don't want to push things aside and make stupid excuses as to why I am not doing my best for Him. I don't want to just stick with things because its better for one person, what if its better for 10 people, 100, or even 1,000 if its the other way? I don't want to stick to one thing because I want it.......

I don't know, this is a bunch of rambling, its just difficult at times, sometimes I wonder, why do I do this? Why don't I just do this that and this? I can tell you.....this semester has been very trying in many different ways.....but oh man, the Lord has many things in store for next semester.....a lot of prayer....a lot of prayer.....time of reflection and objectiveness......

Lord, please give me Your discernment, give me Your wisdom, help to open my eyes to what you have for me to see that which is before me, the good and the bad. Open my ears to hear the details of warnings, yellow and red flags, give understanding to my heart in order for me to be my all for You. To have a heartbeat that beats in rythm with You and no one elses.....

Lord i pray that You guide me where You want me Lord, I will wait when you say wait.....I will fullfill the purpose that You have in my life day to day....I will try to live as patiently as possible....for Your more revealed will in my life.....