The Wait Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...

and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I relate

hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.

Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

as my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting....for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love

when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

the faith that I give when you walk without site.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,

what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent my child, and in time you will see

that the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

- Russell Kelfer

prayer

There are so many emotoins that I am feeling right now. I am playing the song "yearn" over and over again until it just gets smashed into my head. I am so torn up, shredding to pieces right now. I had placed my heart into some one's hands that dropped it on accident. Yet I still hurt, my heart is still bruised. I head still aches, my mind is still troubled. Its hard for me to get up now. All I want to do is sleep and starve. I don't want food, cause each time it reaches my lips i want to gag. I break, for my Lord, for my friend.....i break for his heart....he is hurting so bad right now and that breaks my heart...and I am hurting, with dissapointment and shame. I am nervous. I still am thinking about all the things that were said and all the things that weren't said. I desire to understand and be of help.....i feel so useless.....sorrow is overflowing me. I just can't take it. What happened? What did I do wrong? Why does it have to be this way? What can change? What do you want?

"Oh Lord I cry out to You. I am weary. I am tired. I am worn Lord. Please give me Your power and strength. Give me Your words and not words of mine own. Work through me God, give me Your Holy Spirit. Father give me peace with WHATEVER happens. Oh Lord I want it back, but don't let my flesh rule over me. Whatever is best the Lord give us....I will wait on You...I have to get this out...everything out Lord....I will wait on You. God HELP me....give me perseverance God....I want to Yearn for You, I want to BURN with passion, over You!! ONLY YOU!!!! Help me Lord with that....I love you Lord, help me God....Only You give life and breath!! In You we live and move!!! Thats why I sing Lord, I want to yearn for You, I want to burn with passion, over You!!!! Lord i want to yearn for You!!! Father You can lift me up again, please do it.....help me Lord....."